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The latest news.


This is where you get the latest news about Perry, every hour, on the hour. Or when we can be arsed to make something up.

‘news’ Archive

Perry copies Pires?

Usually the ultimate trend-setter, rumours abound that ex-Arsenal penalty-area-panther Perry Groves has undergone a role-reversal by adopting current Arsenal winger Robert Pires’ trademark ‘crap’ beard.

Scare over new virus!

Fear is sweeping the country over a new virus which could kill millions. It was released from a Laboratory in Swindon where scientists were experimenting with cells from lengendary ex-Arsenal striker Perry Groves.

New Arsenal stadium dedicated to Perry

It has been anounced that the new Arsenal stadium will be named after ex-Arsenal points-poacher Perry Groves, together with indie-rock group Ash and film director Tim Burton.

Perry to run for mayor?

Due to the recent revelations surrounding the candidates for mayor of London, rumours abound that ex-Arsenal hitman Perry Groves may try to hit the heights of local government, making a late entry into the election race.

Perry suffers abuse.

Reports have recently emerged that ex-Arsenal superstar Perry Groves was taunted by Liverpool supporters during Arsenal’s league decider in 1989 at Anfield, with chants of ‘Who’s the ginger tosser?’.

Perry in talks over advertising campaigns.

Ex-Arsenal frontman, Perry Groves, may front several advertising campaigns, we have been told.

Perry to be next Bond???

Ex-Arsenal sharp-shooter Perry Groves may soon be shooting onto our cinema screens as the new James Bond.

Queen to cut hair?

Rumours are rife that the Queen is to adopt a new hair style in that of ex-Arsenal speedy-gonzalis Perry Groves.

Perry to join Bros?

Rumours fly around the music press that the Goss brothers, formerly of the band ‘Bros’ wish to reform the band with ex-Arsenal striker Perry Groves as percussionist.

Perry hospitalised by hair gel incident

Reports are emerging that former Arsenal striker and pin-up Perry Groves has had a terrible accident.