The latest news.

This is where you get the latest news about Perry, every hour, on the hour. Or when we can be arsed to make something up.

‘news’ Archive

Gross back behind bars

Upon transferring this site to its new look, we became aware that it had been infiltrated by one Terry Gross, arch nemesis and lookalike of Perry Groves.


Welcome to the new look Don’t worry, all the old stuff is still here, but now packaged as a fancy visual extravaganza. Some of the older content has been given a revamp, so have fun browsing. For example, why not check out the updated Realistic Football Simulation Game: Behold Thy Graphics! You can also [...]

Perry Groves backs Delap

Ex-Arsenal throw-in-taker Perry Groves has controversially criticised England boss Fabio Capello for not taking Stoke City’s Rory Delap to the World Cup.

Buy Perry’s autobiography now

That’s right, Perry has written an autobiography!

Famous band re-uniting for come-back gig at new stadium

Rumours zip around north London that brothers Matt and Luke Goss and ex-Arsenal defence-devastator Perry Groves are set for a headlining reunion at the official opening of Arsenal’s new stadium, with Groves on percussion.

Perry Action Figure no more!

The popular action figures based on ex-Arsenal Penalty Poacher Perry Groves have been recalled by the manufacturer, HasBROS.

Perry linked to food poisoning outbreak in Spurs team!

Ex-Arsenal midfield dynamo Perry Groves is under suspicion of attempting to poison the entire Tottenham Hotspur team with his infamous milk-past-its-sale-by-date trick.

Framley Town Wanderers lose milk to Premiership giant!

Rumours are rife that the Framley Town Wanderer’s half-time milk supply was commandeered by premiership giants Manchester City.

Perry Groves the Musical?

Abounding rumours suggest that ex-Arsenal football-flinger Perry Groves is to become the subject of a controversial new musical, Perry’s Ginger: The Opera.


Evil genius and master of disguise Terry Gross has escaped in a daring prison-break from his maximum-security cell in Barnsley.