Perry linked to food poisoning outbreak in Spurs team!

Ex-Arsenal midfield dynamo Perry Groves is under suspicion of attempting to poison the entire Tottenham Hotspur team with his infamous milk-past-its-sale-by-date trick. Rumours state that Groves sneaked into the hotel where the Spurs team were staying and swapped their usual ‘Asda Organic’ brand for something more potent. Although no official accusation has been made, we understand that the ginger star is under surveilance by MI9.
Groves originally made his breakthrough to his school team through a similar incident, ‘accidently’ poisoning the entire first team with shoddy milk. Cynics believe he used the same underhand tactic to help his old club to qualify for the Champions League in their final game at Highbury.
Outspoken Bolton boss Sam Allardyce believes that he too should be under suspicion for the poisoning incident, though no-one can see why. “It’s either going to be me or Grovesy” he said. “I’m not going to rule myself out until someone is charged with the incident.”

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