Scare over new virus!
Fear is sweeping the country over a new virus which could kill millions. It was released from a Laboratory in Swindon where scientists were experimenting with cells from lengendary ex-Arsenal striker Perry Groves. They planned to keep the cells so they could pass on to footballers in the future a little of the amazing skills Mr. Groves had. Unfortunately, one of the cells mutated and formed into deadly virus which escaped. Victims of the ‘perrisite’ will find their hair turning slightly ginger and have a sudden urge to listen to Bros records. If you find yourself or someone you know experiencing these symptons, do not hesitate to visit your local GP.