Usually the ultimate trend-setter, rumours abound that ex-Arsenal penalty-area-panther Perry Groves has undergone a role-reversal by adopting current Arsenal winger Robert Pires’ trademark ‘crap’ beard.

Fear is sweeping the country over a new virus which could kill millions. It was released from a Laboratory in Swindon where scientists were experimenting with cells from lengendary ex-Arsenal striker Perry Groves.

It has been anounced that the new Arsenal stadium will be named after ex-Arsenal points-poacher Perry Groves, together with indie-rock group Ash and film director Tim Burton.

Due to the recent revelations surrounding the candidates for mayor of London, rumours abound that ex-Arsenal hitman Perry Groves may try to hit the heights of local government, making a late entry into the election race.

Reports have recently emerged that ex-Arsenal superstar Perry Groves was taunted by Liverpool supporters during Arsenal’s league decider in 1989 at Anfield, with chants of ‘Who’s the ginger tosser?’.

Ex-Arsenal frontman, Perry Groves, may front several advertising campaigns, we have been told.

Ex-Arsenal sharp-shooter Perry Groves may soon be shooting onto our cinema screens as the new James Bond.

Rumours are rife that the Queen is to adopt a new hair style in that of ex-Arsenal speedy-gonzalis Perry Groves.

Rumours fly around the music press that the Goss brothers, formerly of the band ‘Bros’ wish to reform the band with ex-Arsenal striker Perry Groves as percussionist.

Reports are emerging that former Arsenal striker and pin-up Perry Groves has had a terrible accident.