weloveperry.com

World Domination – July 2010

steve — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:01:29 +0000

There really aren’t that many countries left now!

Remember, if you’re on holiday in any of these countries:

Burundi
Central African Republic
Chad
Djibouti
Eq. Guinea
Guinea
Guinea-Bissau
Liberia
North Korea
Rwanda
Sierra Leone
Somalia
Tajkistan
Turkmenistan
Western Sahara

then don’t forget to visit www.weloveperry.com, and we’ll be able to turn the whole world ginger! We might not have caught every little island, but they’re too small to show up on our map, so they don’t count!

For your benefit, here is a list of the countries that have been reached so far…

Afghanistan
Albania
Algeria
Andorra
Angola
Anguilla
Antigua and Barbuda
Antilles
Argentina
Armenia
Aruba
Australia
Austria
Azerbaidjan
Bahamas
Bahrain
Bangladesh
Barbados
Belarus
Belgium
Benin
Bermuda
Bhutan
Bolivia
Bosnia-Herzegovina
Botswana
Brazil
Brunei Darussalam
Bulgaria
Burkina Faso
Cambodia
Cameroon
Canada
Cape Verde
Cayman Islands
Chile
China
Colombia
Congo
Congo(DR)
Cook Islands
Costa Rica
Croatia
Cuba
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Denmark
Dominican Republic
Ecuador
Egypt
El Salvador
Ethiopia
Estonia
Faroe Islands
Finland
Fiji
France
Gabon
Gambia
Georgia
Germany
Ghana
Gibraltar
Great Britain
Greece
Greenland
Guam
Guatemala
Guiana (French)
Guyana
Haiti
Honduras
Hong Kong
Hungary
Iceland
India
Indonesia
Iran
Iraq
Ireland
Israel
Italy
Ivory Coast
Jamaica
Japan
Jersey
Jordan
Kenya
Kazakhstan
Kuwait
Kyrgyzstan
Laos
Latvia
Lebanon
Lesotho
Libya
Liechtenstein
Lithuania
Luxembourg
Macau
Macedonia
Madagascar
Malawi
Malaysia
Maldives
Mali
Malta
Mauritania
Mauritius
Mexico
Moldova
Monaco
Mongolia
Morocco
Mozambique
Myanmar
Namibia
Nepal
Netherlands
New Caledonia
New Zealand
Nicaragua
Niger
Nigeria
Norway
Oman
Pakistan
Palestinian Territories
Panama
Papua New Guinea
Paraguay
Peru
Philippines
Poland
Polynesia (French)
Portugal
Puerto Rico
Qatar
Republic of Serbia
Ria
Romania
Russian Federation
Saint Kitts & Nevis Anguilla
Saint Vincent & Grenadines
Samoa Islands
San Marino
Sao Tome and Principe
Saudi Arabia
Senegal
Singapore
Slovak Republic
Slovenia
South Africa
South Korea
Spain
Sri Lanka
Sudan
Suriname
Sweden
Switzerland
Syria
Taiwan
Tanzania
Thailand
Togo
Trinidad and Tobago
Tunisia
Turkey
Turks and Caicos Islands
Tuvalu
Uganda
Ukraine
United Arab Emirates
United States
Uruguay
Uzbekistan
Vanauatu
Venezuela
Vietnam
Virgin Islands
Yemen
Yugoslavia
Zambia
Zimbabwe

Gross back behind bars

steve — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:31:23 +0000

Upon transferring this site to its new look, we became aware that it had been infiltrated by one Terry Gross, arch nemesis and lookalike of Perry Groves. We reported the matter to the relevant authorities, and are now pleased to report that Gross was caught and is now back in prison in Barnsley. No longer will he be able to besmirch Perry’s good name. A spokesman for Scotland Yard said “Well, it was the least funny thing on the site, wasn’t it?”

Welcome!

steve — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 12:29:32 +0000

Welcome to the new look weloveperry.com. Don’t worry, all the old stuff is still here, but now packaged as a fancy visual extravaganza.

Some of the older content has been given a revamp, so have fun browsing. For example, why not check out the updated Realistic Football Simulation Game: Behold Thy Graphics!

You can also leave your witty comments on the articles now too, so get typing!

Perry Groves backs Delap

steve — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 15:13:53 +0000

Ex-Arsenal throw-in-taker Perry Groves has controversially criticised England boss Fabio Capello for not taking Stoke City’s Rory Delap to the World Cup. Delap attended the Royal Groves Academy of Throw-in Takers, and was the first student every to leave the prestigious school with a first class honours. Groves enthused, “Delap was the best pupil I ever had. After England’s piss-poor start to the World Cup, I think it’s obvious to the nation that what the team has been missing is really long throw-ins. I think it’s discrimination against the throw-in-enabled for Capello not to have taken him to South Africa.” Upon being told that Delap plays for Ireland, Groves said ‘Oh.’

Dress Perry

steve — Thu, 29 May 2008 18:35:50 +0000

Have fun dressing Perry up in his favourite clothes!

Buy Perry’s autobiography now

steve — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 19:03:48 +0000

That’s right, Perry has written an autobiography!

If you don’t do anything else today, make sure buy your copy.

Using our usual skills, we’ve dodged copyright laws and have included a sneak peak of the book. Hopefully this taster will insipre you to make that purchase! The following excerpt is from one of the early chapters outlining Perry’s youth.

Sneak Peak from Perry’s Autobiography:

My youth was a mixed bag, with the ups and downs of any young lad growing up in East Anglia. Often misunderstood at school, bullied by my peers, yet respected for my footballing abilities, my one constant ally was Pedro, a Mexican immigrant. During this time I kept a journal of my events at school.

5th March, 1979 Just got back home from playing patty-cake with my friend Pedro. Although he hasn’t fully got to grips with football yet, I’m glad to see that he now fully understands the complicated rules of patty-cake. Irma’s being a frigging pain in the butt as usual. Gosh!

6th March, 1979 Practiced throw-ins at school today. Bet one kid that I could throw the football over them mountains, something my uncle Martin “Rico” Matthews taught me. Still can’t get in the first team at school – Coach has something against ginger kids. Milk deliveries went well this afternoon. There’s a new girl at school called Debs. She’s pretty good looking.

8th March, 1979 Sorry didn’t get to write yesterday. Helped Pedro build a cake for this hot chick he’s after. Decided to take up a new martial art called Kenny-Kwon-Do, invented by Kenny Dalglish. Thought it might benefit my footballing skills. Gotta go – got to feed Tina.

9th March, 1979 What a day! I guess I’ll have to start at the beginning. The whole team has gone down with food-poisoning! Coach said he had no choice but to play me (and Irma). So, I finally got to play for Framley High School 1st team! We were playing Lamfrey High School, who are top of the league, and beat them 1-0! Irma scored the only goal, and I played really well – that throw-in practice really paid off! Debs smiled at me after the match – girls have never looked at me that way before.

Perry, age 14

So that was the moment that really launched my career: from then on the only way was up! Within two years, Arsenal had signed me up, I’d cut my hair, and was playing football that was, well, dynamite.

Perry, age 14

Famous band re-uniting for come-back gig at new stadium

steve — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 15:13:30 +0000

Rumours zip around north London that brothers Matt and Luke Goss and ex-Arsenal defence-devastator Perry Groves are set for a headlining reunion at the official opening of Arsenal’s new stadium, with Groves on percussion. There has been no official announcement from the club as yet. Upon questioning, a spokesman for Arsenal said “Didn’t he used to play for us?”

Perry Penalty

steve — Tue, 23 May 2006 18:00:47 +0000

Congratulations on choosing PERRY PENALTY, the latest realistic football game from weloveperry.com. In this game, you must help Perry in his quest to score 5 penalties in a row against that cheeky custodian, John Lukic. You must have Javascript enabled to play this game. Be patient – the game may take a little while to load.

click here to play.

Perry Action Figure no more!

steve — Sun, 21 May 2006 15:11:36 +0000

The popular action figures based on ex-Arsenal Penalty Poacher Perry Groves have been recalled by the manufacturer, HasBROS. The exact reasons are unknown, but speculation and rumours abound. One report described numerous children being injured by the realistically powerful throw-in action. Another accounted poisoning incidents involving the realistic Perry Hair (TM) concoction. There were also rumours of kids injuring themselves dancing to the songs played by the ‘Bros Anthems’ button on advanced models.

Perry linked to food poisoning outbreak in Spurs team!

steve — Thu, 11 May 2006 15:13:14 +0000

Ex-Arsenal midfield dynamo Perry Groves is under suspicion of attempting to poison the entire Tottenham Hotspur team with his infamous milk-past-its-sale-by-date trick. Rumours state that Groves sneaked into the hotel where the Spurs team were staying and swapped their usual ‘Asda Organic’ brand for something more potent. Although no official accusation has been made, we understand that the ginger star is under surveilance by MI9.
Groves originally made his breakthrough to his school team through a similar incident, ‘accidently’ poisoning the entire first team with shoddy milk. Cynics believe he used the same underhand tactic to help his old club to qualify for the Champions League in their final game at Highbury.
Outspoken Bolton boss Sam Allardyce believes that he too should be under suspicion for the poisoning incident, though no-one can see why. “It’s either going to be me or Grovesy” he said. “I’m not going to rule myself out until someone is charged with the incident.”