Perry linked to food poisoning outbreak in Spurs team!

steve — Thu, 11 May 2006 15:13:14 +0000

Ex-Arsenal midfield dynamo Perry Groves is under suspicion of attempting to poison the entire Tottenham Hotspur team with his infamous milk-past-its-sale-by-date trick. Rumours state that Groves sneaked into the hotel where the Spurs team were staying and swapped their usual ‘Asda Organic’ brand for something more potent. Although no official accusation has been made, we understand that the ginger star is under surveilance by MI9.
Groves originally made his breakthrough to his school team through a similar incident, ‘accidently’ poisoning the entire first team with shoddy milk. Cynics believe he used the same underhand tactic to help his old club to qualify for the Champions League in their final game at Highbury.
Outspoken Bolton boss Sam Allardyce believes that he too should be under suspicion for the poisoning incident, though no-one can see why. “It’s either going to be me or Grovesy” he said. “I’m not going to rule myself out until someone is charged with the incident.”

Framley Town Wanderers lose milk to Premiership giant!

steve — Sun, 15 Jan 2006 15:12:55 +0000

Rumours are rife that the Framley Town Wanderer’s half-time milk supply was commandeered by premiership giants Manchester City. Ex-Arsenal milk-man Perry Groves, who supplies the Farley’s Rusks Sunday League third division team’s half-time milk quota was incensed at the audacity of the Manchester giants, whose own half-time milk had been stolen by a stray alley-cat. Although an official complaint has been made to the FA, early sources suggest that City’s take-over was in fact legal by FA ruling. The milk-theft was masterminded by City defender Ben Thatcher, who was met by the Framley Town Wanderer supporter with chants of ‘Ben Thatcher, milk-snatcher.’

weloveperry.com » milk

Perry linked to food poisoning outbreak in Spurs team!

Framley Town Wanderers lose milk to Premiership giant!