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World Domination – July 2010

steve — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:01:29 +0000

There really aren’t that many countries left now!

Remember, if you’re on holiday in any of these countries:

Burundi
Central African Republic
Chad
Djibouti
Eq. Guinea
Guinea
Guinea-Bissau
Liberia
North Korea
Rwanda
Sierra Leone
Somalia
Tajkistan
Turkmenistan
Western Sahara

then don’t forget to visit www.weloveperry.com, and we’ll be able to turn the whole world ginger! We might not have caught every little island, but they’re too small to show up on our map, so they don’t count!

For your benefit, here is a list of the countries that have been reached so far…

Afghanistan
Albania
Algeria
Andorra
Angola
Anguilla
Antigua and Barbuda
Antilles
Argentina
Armenia
Aruba
Australia
Austria
Azerbaidjan
Bahamas
Bahrain
Bangladesh
Barbados
Belarus
Belgium
Benin
Bermuda
Bhutan
Bolivia
Bosnia-Herzegovina
Botswana
Brazil
Brunei Darussalam
Bulgaria
Burkina Faso
Cambodia
Cameroon
Canada
Cape Verde
Cayman Islands
Chile
China
Colombia
Congo
Congo(DR)
Cook Islands
Costa Rica
Croatia
Cuba
Cyprus
Czech Republic
Denmark
Dominican Republic
Ecuador
Egypt
El Salvador
Ethiopia
Estonia
Faroe Islands
Finland
Fiji
France
Gabon
Gambia
Georgia
Germany
Ghana
Gibraltar
Great Britain
Greece
Greenland
Guam
Guatemala
Guiana (French)
Guyana
Haiti
Honduras
Hong Kong
Hungary
Iceland
India
Indonesia
Iran
Iraq
Ireland
Israel
Italy
Ivory Coast
Jamaica
Japan
Jersey
Jordan
Kenya
Kazakhstan
Kuwait
Kyrgyzstan
Laos
Latvia
Lebanon
Lesotho
Libya
Liechtenstein
Lithuania
Luxembourg
Macau
Macedonia
Madagascar
Malawi
Malaysia
Maldives
Mali
Malta
Mauritania
Mauritius
Mexico
Moldova
Monaco
Mongolia
Morocco
Mozambique
Myanmar
Namibia
Nepal
Netherlands
New Caledonia
New Zealand
Nicaragua
Niger
Nigeria
Norway
Oman
Pakistan
Palestinian Territories
Panama
Papua New Guinea
Paraguay
Peru
Philippines
Poland
Polynesia (French)
Portugal
Puerto Rico
Qatar
Republic of Serbia
Ria
Romania
Russian Federation
Saint Kitts & Nevis Anguilla
Saint Vincent & Grenadines
Samoa Islands
San Marino
Sao Tome and Principe
Saudi Arabia
Senegal
Singapore
Slovak Republic
Slovenia
South Africa
South Korea
Spain
Sri Lanka
Sudan
Suriname
Sweden
Switzerland
Syria
Taiwan
Tanzania
Thailand
Togo
Trinidad and Tobago
Tunisia
Turkey
Turks and Caicos Islands
Tuvalu
Uganda
Ukraine
United Arab Emirates
United States
Uruguay
Uzbekistan
Vanauatu
Venezuela
Vietnam
Virgin Islands
Yemen
Yugoslavia
Zambia
Zimbabwe

World Domination – Dec 31st, 2005

steve — Sat, 31 Dec 2005 18:16:23 +0000

Here are the countries we have reached so far:

‘Groves’ – supplied by Martyn Stimson

steve — Thu, 10 Mar 2005 19:08:56 +0000

Here is an amusing story supplied by young Martyn. It seems that the chant “only one Perry Groves” is not entirely accurate…

Having ginger hair and a slight resemblance to the great man, I suppose the Colchester United connection also helps, I have been likened to him in the past in a similar way to that any ginger bloke growing up in the 80s was likened to Boris Becker. Now, never wishing to miss out on a possible scam, I thought I’d take advantage of this likeness. I happened to be in London one day and decided to go to Highbury in the evening to watch Arsenal (or at least their reserves) play Birmingham in the Coca Cola Cup. I rang first to check that the game wasn’t sold out (which it wasn’t) but got a little carried away and told them that I was Perry Groves. I went on to say that a friend and I were in the area tonight and would like to see the game and wondered if we could have two complimentary tickets. To my surprise the said that would be fine. We turned up at Highbury for the game, less than convinced that we’d get away with it, and I went strode up to the ticket office and announced that I was Perry Groves and that there should be two tickets reserved for me. To my surprise the girl serving, who didn’t look old enough to remember Perry, replied with a “Yes, Mr Groves, here you go” and handed me an envelope with two tickets in it without even questioning it. Then to cap it all it said on the ticket Price: 0.00 with the words Perry Groves down the side.

Several years later I went to see some of the Football Masters competition, the 6-a-side football competition for ex-pros, and the teams that were playing were Arsenal, Spurs, West Ham, and Charlton. Had I have known that Perry was playing for Arsenal I would have taken the ticket along and asked him to sign it but unfortunately it was only when I got the programme out and looked up who the fat shaven headed bloke, who resembled the freak in the Goonies, was that I realised that Perry was there… and to think I bear a striking (no pun intended) resemblance to him! :o)

Bullying from Anon

steve — Sun, 27 Feb 2005 20:05:56 +0000

Dear Gerald,
I am being mercilessly but fairly bullied with names such as ‘Ginger Snaps, Ginger Nuts, Ginger Tosser, Tintin, Ginger Minger, Copper Nob, Sailor, Greaseball, Shiny Shorts, Captain Haddock, Orange Peel, Grubby Grundies and Gaylord’ due to my fine auburn locks. What should I do about it?
Anon, from Framley

Dear Perry,
You’ve been struggling with these issues for twenty years now, don’t you think it’s time you got over it? I’ve told you enough times about the use of hair dye. Deal with it.
Kind Regards, Gerald

Perry suffers abuse.

steve — Wed, 15 Sep 1999 15:10:36 +0000

Reports have recently emerged that ex-Arsenal superstar Perry Groves was taunted by Liverpool supporters during Arsenal’s league decider in 1989 at Anfield, with chants of ‘Who’s the ginger tosser?’. But when questioned by police, Perry, who is known to have great respect for the Liverpool fans, said ‘No, it’s a fair kop, guv.’

Perry’s hairstyle

steve — Fri, 10 Sep 1999 08:20:48 +0000

Everyone at at least one moment in their lives has looked at Perry Groves and said, ‘I wish my hair was like that.’ Well, today we’ll make your wishes come true as we tell you in a simple step by step tutorial how to get that Tintin look. It’s easy as pie.

Step One

First you need to die your hair a lovely ginger colour. Careful not to get any on the furniture!

Before:

After:

Step two

Now comes the difficult bit. Get a friend to shave the sides and back of your head with some clippers. Make sure you leave the middle longer in a U shape (see pictures below).

Front:	Top:

Step three

Now for the gel. This is an age-old recipe handed down through the generations of the Groves family. We’ve managed to dodge copyright laws to exclusively bring you this recipe:

1/2 pint Industrial strength glue.
1/4 pint Melted candle wax.
2 tbsp Paint stripper.
4oz Self-raising flour.
1 small tube PrittStick.
1 jar honey.
2 jar treacle.
1/4 sack cement.

Mix the ingerdients in a large cement mixer and apply liberally to hair. WARNING: do NOT try to comb or brush hair and be careful of low ceilings.