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‘Groves’ – supplied by Martyn Stimson

steve — Thu, 10 Mar 2005 19:08:56 +0000

Here is an amusing story supplied by young Martyn. It seems that the chant “only one Perry Groves” is not entirely accurate…

Having ginger hair and a slight resemblance to the great man, I suppose the Colchester United connection also helps, I have been likened to him in the past in a similar way to that any ginger bloke growing up in the 80s was likened to Boris Becker. Now, never wishing to miss out on a possible scam, I thought I’d take advantage of this likeness. I happened to be in London one day and decided to go to Highbury in the evening to watch Arsenal (or at least their reserves) play Birmingham in the Coca Cola Cup. I rang first to check that the game wasn’t sold out (which it wasn’t) but got a little carried away and told them that I was Perry Groves. I went on to say that a friend and I were in the area tonight and would like to see the game and wondered if we could have two complimentary tickets. To my surprise the said that would be fine. We turned up at Highbury for the game, less than convinced that we’d get away with it, and I went strode up to the ticket office and announced that I was Perry Groves and that there should be two tickets reserved for me. To my surprise the girl serving, who didn’t look old enough to remember Perry, replied with a “Yes, Mr Groves, here you go” and handed me an envelope with two tickets in it without even questioning it. Then to cap it all it said on the ticket Price: 0.00 with the words Perry Groves down the side.

Several years later I went to see some of the Football Masters competition, the 6-a-side football competition for ex-pros, and the teams that were playing were Arsenal, Spurs, West Ham, and Charlton. Had I have known that Perry was playing for Arsenal I would have taken the ticket along and asked him to sign it but unfortunately it was only when I got the programme out and looked up who the fat shaven headed bloke, who resembled the freak in the Goonies, was that I realised that Perry was there… and to think I bear a striking (no pun intended) resemblance to him! :o)

‘Coach’ – supplied by Alexander Jackson

steve — Fri, 11 Feb 2005 19:06:52 +0000

Here is a picture sent in by Alex, who attends Colchester Royal Grammar School (ooooh!). It is a lovely rendition of his coach Pezza who grinds his team into the ground every Monday afternoon from 4 til’ 5. Alex says that the man himself has lost his boyish Tintin hair for a boot-camp style of authority, affectionally gaining him the nickname ‘mr potato head’.

‘Beer’ – supplied by Phil Twine

steve — Sat, 04 Dec 1999 18:50:51 +0000

The real truth about the legendary Perry Groves….

In 1997, Colchester duo Steve Whitton and Perry Groves decided to hit the town for a few sherberts, but what began as an innocent lads’ night out ended in uproar. After several pints, the pair decided hamburgers were called for – like you do. Wandering down the High Street, one of the two (legend suggests Groves), threw the remnants of his tasty meat-and-bread combo on the floor, just as a police wagon was rolling down the road. The officers within suggested Groves pick up said snack and were promptly advised to “F*** off”. After a swift discussion, the wagon drove off. That wasn’t enough for our intrepid heroes, though. Instead, they chased the vehicle down the High Street, yelling obscenities as they went. The result? A night in the cells and Groves being charged with Public Disorder Offences.